I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
