I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize