I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
