and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
