1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They took my balls.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
