spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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