i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
