Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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