I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
