Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
