I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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