Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
