after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
