hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
