I just made out with a guy for $7.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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