just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You peed on a flamingo?!?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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