I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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