also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I have demons in me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
