break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
