My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
