Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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