Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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