1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
