It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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