She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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