clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
