she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
