Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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