whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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