When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We have so much sex to catch up on
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
