talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
its liver damage thursday
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
