I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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