He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize