I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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