She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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