we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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