dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so let's talk penis.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
