I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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