I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
