We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
