Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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