I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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