She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
