There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
