White coat. Heels.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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