id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
