We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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