gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
