Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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