So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
