I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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