Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
