there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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