So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
