Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
