marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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