You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
